Have you noticed how we can get laser focused on what other people should change instead of focusing on what we could change?  If you’re anything like me, sometimes it is just so much more comfortable to wait for someone else to make the first move.

Check out my latest article on one way to shift that pattern and build your leadership character at the same time!

Two weeks ago, I participated in professional development training on organizational culture and change and this question kept coming up: What are we willing to change about ourselves first before expecting others to change? A fair question because as we navigate change in our lives, we sometimes get laser focused on what other people should change instead of focusing on what we could change.

Throughout the morning, the phrase “own your piece” kept popping into my mind. Since my early adulthood, own your piece has been a favorite go-to phrase that has served me when I tried to unravel a puzzling situation in my life. I honestly can’t remember exactly where I picked it up or how I came to identify so deeply with it, but I know it spoke to me about my own accountability and spotlighted for me what was in my sphere of influence and control.

No matter what hat I’m wearing, leader, parent, partner, coach, or friend, when someone shares a particularly challenging situation with me, I gently inquire “What is your part in it? What piece can you own?” I notice when they are unable to see or fully acknowledge their role in the situation, they are stuck and feel disempowered, confused, or negative because they didn’t take the time to get honest and clear about their piece.

The reason this phrase popped up for me during the training is because for me to consider how I can change first, I need to own my piece and then I need to act and make the change. I believe that I have a decent practice of owning my piece but if I’m being honest with myself, I’ve probably lingered too long on the side of owning but not taking action that really demonstrates my commitment to that accountability – and to change. It is just so much more comfortable to wait for someone else to make the first move, isn’t it?

I’m in a new phase of my leadership. Right now, at this very moment, what owning my piece and acting looks like for me — is stepping into my voice and visibility by sharing insights and my two cents in articles like this. Not a small thing for a quiet leader like me!

For another leader and new business owner that I spoke to this past week, owning his piece and acting was being self-aware of his worried energy state and intentionally choosing not to bring that energy into a team meeting. Instead, he focused on listening deeply to each team member and how each felt about launching the business; one of his gifts is his contagious enthusiasm which could only emerge when he shifted his state. (State is the particular condition that someone is in at a specific time and impacts how they interface with the world.) Afterwards, he said he was so surprised at how good that felt, and he gained more energy and strength by putting the interests of the business and the team ahead of his own.

For a colleague and friend I spoke to this week, owning her piece was acknowledging that her feelings about a deeply complex life situation were completely opposite from her adult son and daughter-in-law. The action side for her was essentially, no action by allowing each to have their own space and time for their feelings to emerge before offering her wisdom and life experience; resisting the parent impulse to rescue your child, at any age, is really hard to do.

I am amending my long-time go-to phrase to now read “Own Your Piece and Act” because I realize simply owning your piece is like being half-finished (though a very positive first step!).

True leadership is owning your piece AND acting.

“Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.” — Abraham Lincoln

 It means taking the type of action that puts the needs of your organization or the needs of someone else, ahead of your own interests.

This type of action demonstrates both leadership and character.

Do you linger in owning your piece but not acting? What is possible for you and your leadership character if you own your piece and act first, before expecting others to change?

If this resonates with you, hit reply and let me know!

Sandy Stack, PhD, ACC

Sandy Stack is Director of Enrollment and Institutional Research, and as a multi-passionate leader, she is also a Mindful Leadership Coach and certified Step into Your Moxie® facilitator.  She helps leaders re-envision their achievement, know themselves more deeply, and discover their own authentic meaning metrics for success.

Other ways to connect:

Website: To learn more visit www.Sandystack.com

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